Keep writing these lists. Find what doesn’t change.
Because I realised I’ve forgotten to upload any of this.. Prom was great, but mostly due to the whole dressing up part, apart from that it was mostly a dinner and then going to the club. Graduation – I don’t even know – it was probably the most intense day of my life and now it feels like a dream, but in a good way haha. Anyway, let the photobombing start.
Aaaand the day of my graduation. I realised these pictures might seem a bit strange if you’re not familiar with the classic Swedish graduation traditions, but well just.. don’t.. question it.
If you’re in school, believe me when I say it will be over in the blink of an eye. Enjoy it. (But also remember that then the rest of your life starts, and that.. is gonna be good)
I don’t like endings.
There something special about being backstage. Too many lights and wires you’re not allowed to touch, your own little corner where you put your things, and the way you see the entire show being built up and practiced. And then the doors open, and for a few hours people get to see what you have been working on for weeks, months. And then the doors close and everything gets shut down and is no more. It’s not a painting or poem to keep. The performance only exists when you perform it, and then it’s forever gone.
I can usually look forward to do it all over again the next year, but now I graduate and have to quit just when I feel like I actually know everyone.
So yeah, and I cried. Which was awkward, because my face gets completely red and I can’t hide it at all, and everyone get really surprised and slightly scared because I don’t usually cry and no one expects it from me. I wasn’t really that sad though. It’s just way too good, so when the curtains fall for the last time, I panic because it’s over it’s over it’s over.
Love
Work in progress, the sort of thing it’s fun to be busy with.
It’s always interesting to see what my past midnight personality will end up doing. Yesterday it was fudge.
Now, I don’t bake a lot. And not because I don’t enjoy cookies and pastries, but because I’m lazy as fu…dge. But after midnight my personality always turns a bit unpredictable. There’s a quote about this I think:
There. Over thinkers. Silent seekers. A nicer way to say that I turn a bit crazy. Here, another picture:
Kind of how my brain looked last night, if you would change the pictures of the universe to pictures of chocolate fudge. Actually how my brain looks now, because even thought I’m gonna post this tomorrow, it’s still 2 am now when I start to write this (obviously..). I’m gonna take some pictures of it tomorrow though, 2 am has got horrible lighting. Now I should probably go to bed.
2 am. See? Horrible lighting (And see how it’s kind of grainy in texture? Yeah, that’s because it’s mostly just sugar)
Next morning. So I ate most of it for breakfast and got a stomach ache. Difference between kid and adult life: now you’re responsible for your own candy intake and can’t whine about things like that.
Probably shouldn’t call it fudge, basically just a sugary, chocolate-y thing that tastes good with your cereal.
The recipe I used I found here: http://chefronlock.com/recipes/midnight-snack-quick-microwave-fudge/ My requirement when googling was that it hade to be something sweet and unhealthy, I had to have all the ingredients at home and I had to be able to make it in a few minutes. Since this recipe was awesome I might even add this to my list of Things I do after midnight when I should really be sleeping, along with eating pomegranate and drinking tea, drawing, dancing in the kitchen and taking long baths. Well.
Much love!
I start out normal and then I become so fucking strange.
Snow and sun is da best combination
Hot chocolate with los friendos
Bracelet I bought at the market, traditionally crafted and made out of reindeer horn with the Samian symbols for sun and moon (reminds me of that game of thrones quote..?)
Aaaand a random picture of me looking a bit drugged
“Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different…”
-C.S.Lewis
This, I think, is one of the most underestimated truths.
You can’t look at the difference, you can just look and look again and notice that today is not yesterday.
We do not understand change. We think it’s a moment, the clock striking twelve on New years eve or when you realise you love someone… when in reality that’s just it, you realise the change but that is not the moment it happens. It already has, over and over again, in the choices you keep on making.
Sometimes it’s hard to remember that so many good things were once bad – diamonds out of pressed coal – because like the birds rising at dawn, they do not sing about the night.
I realised this while heading out to my room, the little cabin in my garden. It was snowing the other night and this is one of those changes you do notice. But these following pictures are of just that, of the snow and how the light makes everything slightly golden and warm, and how the sun seems to never set in the summer and the flowers make my home rest in a meadow. Nature doesn’t remember the wind from last week. I will not remember how it made everything creak or when the autumn leaves turned muddy and gross, and how even though it was completely dark without the snow, the full moon still managed to create moving shadows everywhere. That is not what I photographed.
The snow doesn’t remember the heat, nor the summer the autumn colours. The flower doesn’t remember the bud or it would never bloom. We think that our problem is that we live in the past, and it is. But our problem is not that we remember. Because we don’t. We see self-chosen memories, not truths, and so we can pick and choose. And we so rarely choose the time in between.
eirians 