Autumn sun

Autumn is here, and in the beginning of October the lack of sun hit me. Nature was falling asleep, and my body just wanted to join. It got difficult to get out of bed, follow a routine, and really do anything of what’s necessary to stay healthy.

Since then, I’ve had a bit of a breakdown – stayed inside too much, been a bit sad, and almost failed school assignments. That was the culmination really, a weird week where I needed to hand in a text, and I felt like I couldn’t. It’s in times like that you notice how you’re really doing. When you try fighting it. It was such a good week as well, a bunch of great things happened, but I’d been down for so long that it didn’t help.

Anyway. After that, things looked up. Because they had to. A bit of a sad rock bottom, and now I’m doing really well. I’m buying some extra good food for myself, go to the gym, subscribed to the paper edition of the newspaper. Small stuff.

So that’s how I’m doing, how are you? And remember that even if the world is in a certain mood, you don’t have to feel the same.

~Summer~ evenings

Summer always seems to arrive so slowly, but then suddenly the flowers are blooming and it’s 8 in the evening with the sun still in the sky.

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♥(and observe on the couch the big rocket shaped balloon that my friend got me for my birthday)♥

 

Hiking through villages in the south of Germany

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It’s easy to forget that I’m in Germany. Sure, the city centre has some classical architecture and I’m saying “Danke” to people in the store, but all in all things are pretty similar. The neighbourhood I’m living in could just as well be located in my home city in Sweden. At least kind of.

I guess what I’m saying is: I’m getting used to this, so when we drove an hour away from the city, out into the “fränkische schweiz”, with idyllic little villages resting in the valleys between tall mountains, I felt like I stepped into a fairytale. Driving to something like that from Sweden would be a “this is what we’re doing this summer” kinda thing, but now it was just a friday excursion. Beautiful beautiful beautiful, to bring some more breath and peace into our lives.

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And even if you’re in your home country, wherever you are, there’s probably something cool nearby. Get out, whenever you can. I mean, stick to places where there’s no people of course – but fortunately nature has a lot of space.

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Notes from my phone in the evening:
–  Let’s bring this air into the city. I breathe in here and breathe out amongst the dirty street corners. Sun and moon over empty streets. I bring with me a song of birds and waters. It’s awakening in here too, even amongst graffiti and grey.

Early morning light

This morning the air smelled like rain. So much that it was heavy with it, almost too much. 

I woke up early, because I have a problem with keeping rhythm and “balance” and I know that if I keep trying to wake up at 9 I’ll also keep actually staying in bed til 11. So I get up super early every now and then, to turn everything completely around. Today I had my alarm at 4 am, but I woke up at 3.30, by myself, completely awake and – kind of – feeling ready to start my day. I suppose that’s a life hack for night owls, just get out of bed when it’s still night time. 

I took a nice walk some time after 6, and some guy asked me (in German) if I was just taking a walk or heading to work, and I answered (in German) that I was just walking, and we commented on how early it was and I was feeling much proud of my language skills. 

It’s gonna be a good day. (Or even if it’s not, this is a good moment.)

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Christmas Surprise

“I’m not gonna say what we’re doing or where we’re going,” my friend told me, and I got increasingly confused as we got on the tram, went to the outskirts of the city, got off on the stop next to a tiny lake (??) and just walked walked walked.

And then we came to a place where you could buy Christmas trees!! She bought one for me. It was the sweetest thing. I’m staying in Germany for Christmas instead of going home to Sweden, and now there’s a tree in our apartment 🖤🖤

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Home-places

I’ve spent so long going to places that I didn’t realise how different it is to move somewhere. I’ve spent the past few months saying yeah-yeah, I feel at home here, I feel at home anywhere, fast, but now I start to actually feel it. I just didn’t realise that I didn’t feel it before. Because I don’t mind the time when everything still feels like a visit, I enjoy it. But this, this landing thing, is different. It gives me a sense of control. As if finances and ideas and meeting people is not just something that happens to me, but something I can plan for, for months to come. Crazy?? And so now I’m here, in Germany, just thought I’d let you know. And here are some photos of things that make me feel home home home.

At the Swedish café where I got a small job as a Swedish teacher

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My friend making me fancy blue tea

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Baking Christmas cookies in our shared apartment

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(But then again, maybe this is also a lot about the Christmas season?? That makes me feel all “arrived” and stuff. Because people are creatures of ritual, and few things make you feel as present as a special, or recurring event does. Right?)