It is now day 59 of the new year. 59 days since the beginning and 59 days since we woke up one morning and nothing was different other than the digits making up the number of the year. Yet it was a new beginning, a new start for a lot of people, we’ve made it into a beginning and into an opportunity to create yourself anew. A moment to make decisions resulting in you, after this, being a different person. A better person, more closely moulded into the one you’ve always wanted to be. The truth is that if it’s easier to change that time of the year, it is because other people do it to. Other than that, there is no reason to not have a beginning now. You can make a decision any day, any time, that can change your life and probably do that more than the ones you make on new years eve change you. Because, let’s admit, they’re kinda made to be broken. Or at least suspected to be so. And if you make your promise at any other time, you’re reasons are probably better since they’re not partly that it’s what’s traditional to do.
But, anyway, that’s not what I was really going to talk about. Because the problem does not mainly lie in the beginning, we have so many things we want to start to do it does not take a lot for motivation to suddenly flare up. The problem resurfaces a few days, weeks, months, years later. When you remember why this is something you haven’t done before, or have failed to do for a few increasingly rememberable reasons.
Today, I want to motivate you to continue. To remember to be happy over the bad weather, because then no one else will be jogging and you’ll become just a little bit stronger than them. To continue when everybody else quits because that is what will separate you from them, that is what always separates successful people from less successful. They’re on fire. But more importantly, they don’t burn down, instead brighter.
As time goes by, you’ll perhaps learn to make your promises and dreams into routine. You’ll learn that you’re strong enough to actually keep up with things you never thought you’d go through with, and that confidence will lead you to further believe that you can actually keep doing this, this is what you are now. And the time to start continuing is always.
So, the plane trip to France was wonderful!
And I’m so used to flying with RyanAir that everything I got for free on my Lufthansa flight seemed like a luxury. Food. I got freaking food. Not to mention free Hot chocolate and tea while stopping and waiting in Munich for my plane to Marseille. And I honestly do love the journey, I could spend a lifetime onboard an airplane, reading and writing and drawing. Not because I create any masterpieces, but still.
Everyone on my row in the plane is reading a book. It makes me happy and kind of restores my faith in humanity. It makes me like them without having ever spoken to them, simply because words on paper in worn-out pocket books makes them smile.
So, tomorrow I’m off travelling! Heading to France for a few days, to visit a friend in Aix en Provence and it’s the first time ever I’m flying somewhere on my own. So if this blog is suddenly and mysteriously abandoned, I’ve probably crashed, been kidnapped, stepped on the wrong plane or something else along those lines. Just giving you a heads up.
Seriously though, look at this place!? I’m there to visit my friend, but her living in a beautiful french town is quite a bonus. And I love travelling, especially going places on my own, it’s terrifying and exhilarating how everything depends on me and I feel like it’s a test, a shot at seeing how it is to walk the earth alone. Not belonging anywhere except for on the ground I stand on in that second. And then there’s the contrast of going to visit someone, where you suddenly put all your trust in that person, who’s the only one who actually knows the language and the people there. Trust her to take care of everything. And we’re gonna have the best of times.
You told me how I always fell in love with cars and not with houses, looked at a backpack with a smile but at a bookshelf with an aching heart. I was always going. I’m a runner and a poet, life pulls me in different directions. Keeps me going and makes my heart want to stay with what I find. I can look out the window of a bus and get the sudden urging need to remember every tree I see, to sit down under every single one and have picnic and the best day of my life. You don’t have to go far, and we don’t have to run, but I have to keep moving so that as many things as possible in this universe get the attention they deserve.
I’ve gotten a job as a dance teacher! It makes me jump out of happiness and stress out about the lessons I have to plan. But I’m happy, most of all I’m happy, so many people are on the lookout for jobs and I got one without even putting effort into looking, bonus that I get paid for something I’d probably do for free. Terrifies me though because I’ve got no idea what you can expect from different age groups? Guess I’ll figure it out.
Do you guys ever wish you were clearly defined by one of your hobbies? I wish I was a star dancer or famous artist or known writer, instead of just liking a little of each. Wish I’d started something when I was really young and then never quitted it. Have to remind myself of that every time I want to quit on of the hobbies I have now.
1. Doctor Who. Having had it’s 50-years anniversary last year, it’s the longest running and most successful science fiction show in history. Amazing, beautiful and heartbreaking. You’ll love it if you’re a sucker for beautiful sceneries, creatively thought out cultures and the most beautiful quotes.
2. Sherlock Holmes. If you have not seen BBC’s modern day version of the classic, you’re missing out. Whoever you are, whatever you do, you’re missing out. It’s smart, unbelievably clever. Entertaining, funny, dramatic, anything you could ever wish for. An episode is 90 minutes long and more well-produced than a lot of movies. If you do not love it, the fault does not lie in the show.
3. Supernatural. This is different, because unlike Doctor Who and Sherlock I can’t objectively say that it’s one of the best. Man, sometimes I don’t even know if it’s good, I just know that I love it. It’s the type of show that effortlessly drags you in, and you fall for it, completely, without really knowing why, it just has… something.
Art can be born out of other things than pain. Yes, how beautiful is not the art of the broken-hearted? I heard someone say once that sad was happy, for deep people, and the problem with pain has always been in its ability to seduce that far overrides the one of happiness. Bittersweetness is the most beautiful feeling I know.
I’m trying to teach myself, trying to learn how you find your source of creativity in light instead. Because I’m starting to realize that the seduction of pain doesn’t mean it’s more satisfactory, it just means that it’s easier. But it’s also weak, and usually selfish, whether we choose to see that side of it or not. I’m trying to choose happiness.