Last dance

I don’t like endings.

There something special about being backstage. Too many lights and wires you’re not allowed to touch, your own little corner where you put your things, and the way you see the entire show being built up and practiced. And then the doors open, and for a few hours people get to see what you have been working on for weeks, months. And then the doors close and everything gets shut down and is no more. It’s not a painting or poem to keep. The performance only exists when you perform it, and then it’s forever gone.

I can usually look forward to do it all over again the next year, but now I graduate and have to quit just when I feel like I actually know everyone.




So yeah, and I cried. Which was awkward, because my face gets completely red and I can’t hide it at all, and everyone get really surprised and slightly scared because I don’t usually cry and no one expects it from me. I wasn’t really that sad though. It’s just way too good, so when the curtains fall for the last time, I panic because it’s over it’s over it’s over.



Art journal video!

So I practiced my editing skills a bit by editing a video of me flipping through my journal. And it’s not the highest quality of art haha, just whatever random things I feel like writing or doodling, but it’d mean a lot if you checked it out anyway! And I’m thinking about uploading more videos, so subscribe if you think that’s a good idea. Peace out or something

T minus 30 (days)


5 things I’m stressed out over

  1. I’ve got no job for the summer. Because I was going to maybe be involved in this dance project, but then nothing happened.
  2. Well, I’ve got no plans for life at all pretty much (quite a lot of dreams though).
  3. in 30 days I graduate and I have a million things to do before then.
  4. In 30 days I’ll leave my class in school, my art class, my dance class, my christian school group, all these small communities that I’ve taken for granted.
  5. What if I fail doing everything I’ve ever wanted.

5 things I’m grateful for

  1. I have so many fun things ahead of me during these last few weeks.
  2. How a school class always becomes really social when everyone realises that this will end soon.
  3. This is such a beautiful and bittersweet time.
  4. That I haven’t let fear of uncertainty lead me to seek structure I do not want.
  5. What if I succeed.

Work in progress, the sort of thing it’s fun to be busy with.