Blurry evening walks.
Acylics on book about entrepreneurial marketing.
I read somewhere recently:
“Christ didn’t die for your dreams, he died for your sins.”
And it’s so true. Let’s precede this with saying that of course God has a calling for your life, and of course he has amazing things he wants to lead you into, and dreams he has put into your heart. But he did not die for you to finally be able to get on that airplane and live that lifestyle you’ve always wanted to. He did not die for you to finally have that new job opportunity, savings account or success. Christ died for your sins. He died for you to be a new creation, pure and blameless, whether you’re in a minimum wage job or have an office with a skyline view. The main thing he died to bring you into is himself. Away from damnation and into eternity. That’s what we have waiting for us, that’s the life we have, changed and free, at a fancy restaurant patio or out on the streets.
My two favourite places to sit and work in the city:
1. The library in Nürnberg consists of two buildings, linked by a super confusing system of corridors and stairs. The new part is a tall building, extremely ugly from the outside, but modern and bright on the inside. The old part however, is some kind of old monestary I think? The floor is covered in old carpet and the ceilings are lower, it smells kinda weird sometimes, but it has a courtyard where the trees are still bright yellow and orange, and a café on the lowest floor with dark wooden furniture that makes you feel like you’re a professor at a british university. I like it. Last time I was there I dragged a chair to one of the windows overlooking the courtyard and I used the broad windowsill as my desk. It’s a good place to sit.
2. I know Starbucks has long ago reached that point where it’s too annoyingly popular to be cool. But I appreciate their culture. If I go to a cozy german café they will expect me to actually appreciate it, and be aware of my surroundings, and not stay for like three hours just sitting in front of my computer. Starbucks though, they don’t care, they expect that, and there’s not even any staff on the second floor most of the time. I just sit there being oblivious of where I am for a while, but I have coffee or hot chocolate and the buzz of movement around me. It calms me down when I’m too unfocused to work from home.
With hints of the blue sketch under it. I really like this style that I don’t think is really mine – cause I don’t know if I have one – but I’m happy I managed to paint something like it.
And here’s the thing, I stood close to it, leaning on the window pane. But I wanted to sit down. If I turned around there was the square of light, reflected on the sloped ceiling next to our kitchen table. And so I straightened up, and the sun was not on me anymore, and it was dark. But then I went and sat down on a kitchen chair and there it was again, bright and golden, filling up my whole field of vision even when I closed my eyes. And it was so stupid, I thought, to think that the sun would be less bright here. Maybe the sun is so bright in itself that it will still be quite bright, even if you move ten meters further away. And I think I do that all the time with God, feel like I’m moving further away, but truth is that I just need to sit down in the light and it won’t matter that much whether I’m ten meters further away or closer. Maybe I just need to stop worrying about the darkness and come to the light in the first place.
Through one of our apartment windows fell a square of golden light. There were rain drops on the window, and a dark grey sky overhead, but at the edge of the horizon there was a sliver of bright sky, and in the midst of it the sun shone brightly into the hooded windows of our loft. I had to take the trash out, so I did, but halfway down the stairs the sun didn’t shine in through the windows anymore, having already dipped too close to the horizon and our neighbouring building hid it, and so I was scared that I would not be able to see it again and stand there and look at it while it set like I’d planned. And so I think that’s what it’s like with nature, you can’t see a beautiful evening sky and think that you’re gonna paint it later, you have to drop everything you’re holding and do it right now. There is no procrastination in nature, only time for different things. Right now the grey has lifted, and even though the sun has set the sky is still bright blue, and the lines of clouds golden.
(Also I did make it, when I walked upstairs again the sun waited for me on the fourth floor, and on our fifth it still shone through the kitchen window.)
I mean I guess this is a website, but I’ve got another one. A bit more informative and stuff. I was gonna delete all my open tabs before I took a screenshot of it, but you know what, this is how we choose to live our lives.