We ended up in Shinjuku randomly, the evening of one of our first days in Tokyo. We got of the train at Shinjuku station to check out an art store, and ended up walking into one of the craziest cityscapes ever. I was gonna paint part of it, but then I didn’t really finish it. I want to be the person who paints the scenery when I go places, but then again that’s actually not what I enjoy painting, so maybe I shouldn’t. Or maybe I’ll enjoy it if I practice until I’m good. (Or I just won’t.)
Anyway, remembering Tokyo makes me happy happy sad sad because I’d rather fall asleep there tonight.
I always sleep in front of the fireplace because it’s cold in the rooms in our cabin. And possibly because this is cosier, even if my sheets and pyjamas smell like smoke.
in yourself to sit down.
Stop leaning awkwardly against some made up counter in the space between your ribs.
Life is a row of plush armchairs
you sit in with your back straight
Let your breath out
into the moment
(What I mean is, rest this holiday season. Stay for long. Merry Christmas.)
Saturday 25th of November
Good morning, bad day, good evening.
I got to help out with a homeless ministry. It was nice. The sun rose while we rode the trains and we gave out hot chocolate and coffee to the people being cold (so to ourselves as well).
I came home and realised I can fill my schedule completely with things that make me feel like I’m a good person, but still be dissatisfied under the overwhelming pressure to perform and be good and be good and be good. My friend told me to take the rest of the day off.
The sun set and I needed to get out of the house a bit, so I was going to a café at the station.
Then I realised I could go anywhere.
And my heart started shaking with excitement, I could go anywhere. Like really, any place in Tokyo. And so I jumped on the train to Ikebukuro, and then went to Harajuku. Walked along the crowded streets and then past lit up blue trees towards Shibuya (which is my favourite place in the world). I was considering whether I should talk to anyone, but I was so intenesly aware, so outside of my body yet so in it, soul expanding but walls up even though they were windows and that’s okay, that was okay for that time.
⬑Harajuku, blue trees and tiny streets.
(Also, soundtrack for the night: Warriors by M.I.A. For some reason middle eastern hip hop was just right.)