Tag Archives: autumn
The colours of my autumn
Taking a break from the Zambia Travel Diary to share some pictures of this autumn life I flew (blew) into.
My favourite thing about autumn is the air and the sky.
Lack of school
For the first time in my life I don’t start school in the autumn. It’s weird, like one summer I just quit and didn’t come back. I can’t decide if that means my summer holiday is nonexistent – because I don’t have anything to take vacation from – or if it’s eternal. I would write more, but for some reason the words are running away from me. My thoughts want to stay in my head, or maybe I don’t know what I think. I’m scared, anyway. Terrified of the future, and whenever I tell someone my age, they say that they are too. That only sort of helps. I suppose the problem is that we don’t have any excuses left. We’re not stuck anymore. But we are. Stuck in our heads and stuck in the realisation that you need money for everything. Stuck in believing money is the necessary-iest. I don’t really know where to go, and all my energy goes to convincing myself that’s okay.
We should cry sometimes
I’ve always thought that to be strong, you have to be able to smile regardless of what you’re feeling on the inside. I still think that. Put it on the list with all the other thoughts I can’t stop having even after I realise they’re not true.
I wonder if I was depressed last autumn. Probably not, because I know people who have gone through actual tough times, and it was not like that. I think? At least nobody noticed. Me included.
A lot of times when I cry it helps. Afterwards I can become almost giddy. Other times, it’s a really good cry, but I still feel a bit sad. It’s okay, it’s all okay now, but I’m just a bit sad.
Hail
The weather is getting colder and the sun rises bright every morning but the sky opens up for rain every dark afternoon. Autumn is closing in but I don’t want to think about hot chocolate and oversized sweaters, not yet. Not now when school hasn’t even started and I can still lock myself inside my room and ignore that time passes by so quickly.
Fingertips
eirians 
