Category Archives: life

Home-places

Posted on by under life

I’ve spent so long going to places that I didn’t realise how different it is to move somewhere. I’ve spent the past few months saying yeah-yeah, I feel at home here, I feel at home anywhere, fast, but now I start to actually feel it. I just didn’t realise that I didn’t feel it before. Because I don’t mind the time when everything still feels like a visit, I enjoy it. But this, this landing thing, is different. It gives me a sense of control. As if finances and ideas and meeting people is not just something that happens to me, but something I can plan for, for months to come. Crazy?? And so now I’m here, in Germany, just thought I’d let you know. And here are some photos of things that make me feel home home home.

At the Swedish café where I got a small job as a Swedish teacher

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My friend making me fancy blue tea

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Baking Christmas cookies in our shared apartment

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(But then again, maybe this is also a lot about the Christmas season?? That makes me feel all “arrived” and stuff. Because people are creatures of ritual, and few things make you feel as present as a special, or recurring event does. Right?)

Another place to sit

Posted on by under life

In the midst of everything. People pass by in blurs. There’s constant background noise. It’s a café in the Nürnberg central station, and I think it’s mostly aimed at people travelling. I love sitting there. Sometimes by the table right by where people order. There’s something nice about loud places like that, everything else is making noise so you don’t have to. It’s like the people are your thoughts buzzing around. It’s loud and messy and you never know who is going to end up in the seat next to you, but I quite like that.

 

 

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They also have things like this, a black forest hot chocolate 🖤

 

 

Places to sit

Posted on by under life

My two favourite places to sit and work in the city:

1. The library in Nürnberg consists of two buildings, linked by a super confusing system of corridors and stairs. The new part is a tall building, extremely ugly from the outside, but modern and bright on the inside. The old part however, is some kind of old monestary I think? The floor is covered in old carpet and the ceilings are lower, it smells kinda weird sometimes, but it has a courtyard where the trees are still bright yellow and orange, and a café on the lowest floor with dark wooden furniture that makes you feel like you’re a professor at a british university. I like it. Last time I was there I dragged a chair to one of the windows overlooking the courtyard and I used the broad windowsill as my desk. It’s a good place to sit.

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2. I know Starbucks has long ago reached that point where it’s too annoyingly popular to be cool. But I appreciate their culture. If I go to a cozy german café they will expect me to actually appreciate it, and be aware of my surroundings, and not stay for like three hours just sitting in front of my computer. Starbucks though, they don’t care, they expect that, and there’s not even any staff on the second floor most of the time. I just sit there being oblivious of where I am for a while, but I have coffee or hot chocolate and the buzz of movement around me. It calms me down when I’m too unfocused to work from home.

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🖤

Following nature

Posted on by under life, Longer thoughts, poetry

Through one of our apartment windows fell a square of golden light. There were rain drops on the window, and a dark grey sky overhead, but at the edge of the horizon there was a sliver of bright sky, and in the midst of it the sun shone brightly into the hooded windows of our loft. I had to take the trash out, so I did, but halfway down the stairs the sun didn’t shine in through the windows anymore, having already dipped too close to the horizon and our neighbouring building hid it, and so I was scared that I would not be able to see it again and stand there and look at it while it set like I’d planned. And so I think that’s what it’s like with nature, you can’t see a beautiful evening sky and think that you’re gonna paint it later, you have to drop everything you’re holding and do it right now. There is no procrastination in nature, only time for different things. Right now the grey has lifted, and even though the sun has set the sky is still bright blue, and the lines of clouds golden.

(Also I did make it, when I walked upstairs again the sun waited for me on the fourth floor, and on our fifth it still shone through the kitchen window.)

There’s no rush Except for the urgency and necessity to sink into the present moment

Posted on by under life, Longer thoughts

I have a decision page in my notebook. It’s so that when the contradicting emotions come rolling I will remember that I already decided something and that it’s what I’ll do regardless of what doubts I have. Otherwise decisions aren’t worth anything.

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Also, reminder:
You place such high demands on your choices. What you choose now will not necessarily fix all your insecurities, your self control or procrastination. But it can help with something. You can choose something that is good for your art. Or brings you closer to nature. Or happier in only some sense. Choose one criteria and don’t close your eyes to everything else, but you don’t have to worry about it either. Let yourself make a choice that solves one of your problems.