Category Archives: life

3 stages of life

Posted on by under life, Longer thoughts
  1. The dance hall is empty when I arrive. Silent except for the faint humming of the city and the ticking of the clock on the wall, the same sort as those they use in the classroom. Fooling us. Deceiving us. Tick tock, tick tock, as if anything actually exists. Sunshine through the windows, diminished by frosted glass, yet reflecting on the mirrors and creating blurry shapes of light on the wooden floor. Everything is beige and white and soft shades of pink in here. It’s nice, I think.
  2. It’s different after class. The slight nervousness I always get before teaching is gone, and so my head can’t stay as silently calm. The sunshine faded slowly and I didn’t realise how dark it was until I turned on the light and saw colours instead of shades. The city seems brighter though, clearer. Starting to dance. The colours flashing by my eyes when I close them are sharper.
  3. At a youth meeting tonight they spoke about the kingdom of Jesus and I almost teared up because home, I thought. Home. And tonight there was the aftermath of a full moon, the actual one must have been covered by the clouds for several nights. I looked up at it, small clouds rushing past. I didn’t even know, I thought. Somehow that meant something. When at midnight I walked home over frosty ice, light reflecting in piles of snow as tall as me, I thought the world was almost achingly beautiful. 

I start out normal and then I become so fucking strange.

(Song of the day: Anything by NEEDTOBREATHE on Spotify)

A day or two

Posted on by under life, selfies
I’ve realised that I rarely do the whole traditional blogging thing, when you talk about what you’re actually doing with your life. Mainly because whatever I write about I tend to mix in my emotions and feeling and just write a text on the topic. Like writing about how cozy markets are, instead of telling you that I went to one today. But I did. So.
It’s been a few quite nice days. School’s okay, just relatively boring yet somehow stressful. I had an english presentation yesterday which I kind of improvised, because I’d learned a lot about the topic but I hadn’t really written any keywords, meaning that I during the presentation constantly started sentences that I had no idea how to finish and tried to look relaxed while making confused faces in my head.
Also, I already had enough courses so I didn’t have to study maths this last term (swedish school system, it’s complicated), giving me a lot of free periods. Which I was so excited about, but do you know how difficult it is to actually get something done when having a free period? So I’ve spent quite some time procrastinating. As usual.
And okay, fast forward, because this was just going to be a short post. We have this annual market in my town this week and it’s cozy to see the transformation of our centre. It’s a lot of snow but today it was raining a bit despite the cold and we had to take a break from walking through the market just to sit inside of a café and get warm again, drinking hot chocolate. Oh, and I also bought donuts at the market, but they had run out of the ones with smarties, so they made completely fresh ones! Dipped them in melted chocolate and smarties so that it dripped and I got it all over my face when trying to eat, but it was pretty dang good. So yeah, I always feel like I’m boring when I write things like this, but hopefully you’ll survive. Oh, and I have some pictures too!
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Snow and sun is da best combination

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Hot chocolate with los friendos

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Bracelet I bought at the market, traditionally crafted and made out of reindeer horn with the Samian symbols for sun and moon (reminds me of that game of thrones quote..?)

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Aaaand a random picture of me looking a bit drugged

Surviving school (or not)

Posted on by under life

So yesterday I got ready for my first day at school. Clothes, breakfast, makeup.. only to get there and realise I didn’t have to go to my first class and could come back six hours later. Wandering home my heels made my feet ache and slip on the ice that was somehow still there even though the snow melted the day before, and I don’t think the sky ever turned bright. Back to school later and then back home. It wasn’t horrible. I met some nice people and stuff. And then I went to bed at like seven and thought I was gonna get up later and do everything I had to. Spoiler alert: I didn’t. I slept more than eleven hours. Something about school and the darkness and.. school just makes me want to sleep.

But this is my last term. Thank God, because I am so sick of this. I realised a while ago I chose the wrong subjects to study and that does not help the motivation. I got an awesome backpack for christmas and I just want to go away, travel the world.

But for now I’ll stay here and obviously survive and hopefully live. It’s not bad, it’s just too much of not what I would have chosen to do. And my backpack stands in the corner of my cabin like a promise.
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The Swedish north

Posted on by under life

An autumn post about two months late. We headed up to the north on vacation and I never got around to photobombing you with it so here we go, irrelevance is my motto and a christmas post seemed a bit unoriginal. But I do hope, nonetheless, that you’re having an amazing christmas!

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My NaNoWriMo survival kit!

Posted on by under life

As mentioned in my previous post, I’m gonna do NaNoWriMo this year! (Don’t know what it is? Check out http://nanowrimo.org/about). And for this month, there are a few things I’m definitely gonna need to survive, so I thought I’d share them with you. Without further ado;

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NaNoWriMo survival kit

  • Coffee, if you like coffee.
  • Other stuff, if you like other stuff. Like tea, hot chocolate.. because writers DO NOT HAVE TO BE OBSESSED WITH COFFE. Seriously you guys.
  • Kindness. This is why telling people about NaNoWriMo is a good thing. I usually don’t tell a lot of people, simply because I always have a thousand projects going on and I’m not the type of person who feels the need to share them all. But you want people to support you, people close to you, and obviously people in your home. Nothing beats an unexpected food tray on late evenings when your writing has made you forget the concept of eating anything else than words and sentences.
  • Links to all the amazing writing tips and inspiration there is out there. I’m gonna write a post with all of my favourite links in a few days, and I’ll link it here, but for starters here’s at least my writing board on pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/eiriaan/writing/
  • Tools. Where will you write? In word? Scrivener? Maybe on actual paper? And even if you’re oh so modern and prefer everything digital, make sure that you actually own paper. Yes, that can still be useful, even in this day of age. I keep my journal, a simple, moleskine thing, with me everywhere I go. Seriously. I might take it with me if I’m just going upstairs, turning halfway up the stairs because I forgot it. Also, art stuff can be fun if you’re into that, if you like to for example draw your character designs.
  • Music. If that’s your thing. Compile a few playlists, maybe different ones for different moods? Personally, I prefer silence. I can’t even study while listening to music. Sometimes, with very particular songs, it can work. Or if the volume’s so low I can barely hear it. Or maybe if it is the song that inspired that certain paragraph. Some things I like to have on low volume though, or maybe listen to while thinking about the story, is the playlist Creativity Boost from spotify, and this video on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShI_fv38qYQ
  • A cage. Where you can lock away every part of you that screams about grammar, structure and actual good writing. NaNoWriMo is not about that, and the faster you realize it the better. It’s about getting a rough draft out on paper. To find out what your story is actually about. Remember that you’re.. what is it they say? Let me google it.. right, this: “I’m writing a first draft and reminding myself that I’m simply shoveling sand into a box so that later I can build castles.” -Shannon Hale

Happy writing!

Autumnbreak – monday

Posted on by under life

Oh my, I’m actually being productive. I don’t quite know what’s going on, but for some reason I’ve just been doing a bunch of stuff. Things that I actually should do. Relatively fun stuff, but still.

And now I want to write a list. Maybe I’ll post it here if I actually get around to it. I want to write a list of things that inspire me. Links to things that do not absorb me, but that I instead can’t look at for more than like 5 minutes before I get so inspired that I have to go do something. Make something, create something. I should make another list too, I suppose, of things that I let absorb me but still love, things perfect to curl up in front of with a big mug of hot chocolate during these cloudy days.
Because they really are cloudy days, so freakin’ cloudy. Not dark, just light grey, everywhere, everything. It’s okay though. Life’s okay. Maybe I’m heading in the right direction.
     Oh, and I’m also doing NaNoWriMo this year! Check it out (http://nanowrimo.org) if you haven’t heard of it, will probably post further about that too!

Summer evenings and writing

Posted on by under life

I should just write. Maybe the inspiration will flow from my brain like the ink from my pen and maybe the sound of violently pressing the keyboard will bring my heart to a path and back from the distracted zone of nowhere and everywhere. Maybe I should write because I actually do have things to write about, friends and laughter that have passed by, and imaginary people in faraway cultures whose adventures lies at my feet, waiting for my hands and letters. And maybe I should not write. Maybe I should never write again because I never write when I’m happy. Or maybe I should just learn to find another source to creativity, bright days and sunshine instead of bittersweetness and hearts teared apart. And maybe I should write because whatever the answer is, I know that the only way to find it is searching through my thoughts, and the only way to search through my thoughts is falling through them line for line, a never-ending flood of commas and vowels and me.

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Hail

Posted on by under life

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The weather is getting colder and the sun rises bright every morning but the sky opens up for rain every dark afternoon. Autumn is closing in but I don’t want to think about hot chocolate and oversized sweaters, not yet. Not now when school hasn’t even started and I can still lock myself inside my room and ignore that time passes by so quickly.

 

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The clay under the sand

Posted on by under life

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On the beach next to my grandma’s summer house we found a pier where I asked my mother to put her hand in the water for it to look like she’s magic. I don’t know, she might be. And underneath the sand you can find clay that you can shape and let dry, or just apply all over your body for a homemade clay mask thingy. We looked very strange. It was a good day. IMG_7101IMG_7117IMG_7135