Tag Archives: work

Places to sit

Posted on by under life

My two favourite places to sit and work in the city:

1. The library in Nürnberg consists of two buildings, linked by a super confusing system of corridors and stairs. The new part is a tall building, extremely ugly from the outside, but modern and bright on the inside. The old part however, is some kind of old monestary I think? The floor is covered in old carpet and the ceilings are lower, it smells kinda weird sometimes, but it has a courtyard where the trees are still bright yellow and orange, and a café on the lowest floor with dark wooden furniture that makes you feel like you’re a professor at a british university. I like it. Last time I was there I dragged a chair to one of the windows overlooking the courtyard and I used the broad windowsill as my desk. It’s a good place to sit.

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2. I know Starbucks has long ago reached that point where it’s too annoyingly popular to be cool. But I appreciate their culture. If I go to a cozy german café they will expect me to actually appreciate it, and be aware of my surroundings, and not stay for like three hours just sitting in front of my computer. Starbucks though, they don’t care, they expect that, and there’s not even any staff on the second floor most of the time. I just sit there being oblivious of where I am for a while, but I have coffee or hot chocolate and the buzz of movement around me. It calms me down when I’m too unfocused to work from home.

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🖤

Rest

Posted on by under life, selfies

I didn’t blog for a while and then I felt like I should but then I didn’t want to so I didn’t. But then I felt like I should again, so I planned a day to be productive, but then I wasn’t and in the evening I realised that I was so full from work and then trying to rest myself back to me, that I just wanted input before I could pour anything. Now I’m okay. It’s a bit unpredictable, that. I don’t know if that’s professional, but it’s how it is. (I think a lot about professionalism like that, how you should treat creativity as a business if you want it to be. But it’s really not that simple. And you’re allowed to be much more not simple.)

Anyway, I was working a lot, so here’s a selfies from my cabin (like old times on this blog) of late night painting flowers on my hand, and then my current mood after coming home from work.

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Headache.

Grace over Ability

Posted on by under Longer thoughts

Observation: When I don’t feel fully alright with God, I start getting annoyed when someone at work is better at something than I am.

Why is that?
Because when I’m not feeling well I start trusting my own performance. Or rather, as soon as I look away from God I start trusting it. Parts of Gods wisdom we can recieve in our lives and it just becomes logical; we learn sentences or behaviour and its absorbed into our lives. Other people can as well, not even knowing where it comes from. But grace can not continue without Him.
Because:
1. You need it anew every day.
2. It is not built on logic.
If you turn to your own brain it will draw its own conclusions. Grace is not in ourselves, not in us by ourselves. Look at it. (Keep looking at it.) Set your eyes straight.

The Weak Week

Posted on by under life

Today I woke up at six and was out the door before seven. I do like the concept of morning walks, but I don’t feel the need to prolong them, can’t let my mind sing to the beat of footsteps the way it does at night. I’m too aware. But that means I don’t need a lot of time. I walked along the bike lanes through the forest and I saw the white clouded sky and wet green trees, felt a few drops of water. I stuffed my hands in my pockets, thinking that this was the perfect prelude to a warm bath.

The thing is, I haven’t been to work since monday. I’m stressed out and have had some breakdowns over the weeks. I feel a weird mixture of feelings I haven’t quite figured out yet and maybe that bothers me the most. It’s not that I don’t like it, and I love the kids, but it’s been a bit too much and I just can’t handle it. I’ve decided that I will continue though, like it was said, until christmas.

I don’t feel strange being home, just normal again. At times I stress out because I feel like I need to use the time to do more, but I’ve still had some good days. Yesterday my friend came over and we went with our longboards out on the empty roads in the night, where there were no streetlights so everything was a grey/black blur. I felt like someone else, wearing a grey hoodie and converse. Then we went sunbathing on my driveway, like we usually do. With our longboards as pillows stars floated in and out of vision as clouds covered them and moved. As people walked by on the street we tried and failed not to laugh.

September 23rd 2016