Reverse ’To Watch’ List #1

You know that list in your head, of movies you want to watch but never do? And if you do watch them, you forget about it. So, these are a few movies that used to be in my ‘To watch’ list but I’ve now seen! And they were all so freakin’ good, several are new favourites.

  • Kill Bill
  • Moulin Rouge
  • Bird Man
  • The Breakfast Club
  • Pulp Fiction
  • Interstellar
  • Fight Club

What do you want?

Ask yourself:
What do you really want?
What do you still want?
Here is my current list:
  1. Jesus
  2. Love (friends, family)
  3. Art, to live and breathe and soak in it
  4. Fresh flowers
  5. Happiness Truth
  6. To run away and see the world

Keep writing these lists. Find what doesn’t change.

T minus 30 (days)


5 things I’m stressed out over

  1. I’ve got no job for the summer. Because I was going to maybe be involved in this dance project, but then nothing happened.
  2. Well, I’ve got no plans for life at all pretty much (quite a lot of dreams though).
  3. in 30 days I graduate and I have a million things to do before then.
  4. In 30 days I’ll leave my class in school, my art class, my dance class, my christian school group, all these small communities that I’ve taken for granted.
  5. What if I fail doing everything I’ve ever wanted.

5 things I’m grateful for

  1. I have so many fun things ahead of me during these last few weeks.
  2. How a school class always becomes really social when everyone realises that this will end soon.
  3. This is such a beautiful and bittersweet time.
  4. That I haven’t let fear of uncertainty lead me to seek structure I do not want.
  5. What if I succeed.

Work in progress, the sort of thing it’s fun to be busy with.


3 stages of life

  1. The dance hall is empty when I arrive. Silent except for the faint humming of the city and the ticking of the clock on the wall, the same sort as those they use in the classroom. Fooling us. Deceiving us. Tick tock, tick tock, as if anything actually exists. Sunshine through the windows, diminished by frosted glass, yet reflecting on the mirrors and creating blurry shapes of light on the wooden floor. Everything is beige and white and soft shades of pink in here. It’s nice, I think.
  2. It’s different after class. The slight nervousness I always get before teaching is gone, and so my head can’t stay as silently calm. The sunshine faded slowly and I didn’t realise how dark it was until I turned on the light and saw colours instead of shades. The city seems brighter though, clearer. Starting to dance. The colours flashing by my eyes when I close them are sharper.
  3. At a youth meeting tonight they spoke about the kingdom of Jesus and I almost teared up because home, I thought. Home. And tonight there was the aftermath of a full moon, the actual one must have been covered by the clouds for several nights. I looked up at it, small clouds rushing past. I didn’t even know, I thought. Somehow that meant something. When at midnight I walked home over frosty ice, light reflecting in piles of snow as tall as me, I thought the world was almost achingly beautiful. 

I start out normal and then I become so fucking strange.

(Song of the day: Anything by NEEDTOBREATHE on Spotify)