Aside

Why do I keep doing things I do not want to do? Why do we all keep on doing things that make us unhappy? It bothers me, bothers me so much, all the things we do for the wrong reasons and all the things we turn to because of fear or anger or despair. Please don’t be the type of person that lets his or her life slowly drip away without anything really happening, because you spend to much time doing things that are not the best or brightest or most alive things you could spend you life doing. Don’t be the type of person that chooses career based on money, money so that you’re sure to survive and sure to be able to spend more time doing things you don’t actually want. If you’re passionate about it, it will show. Things will sort themselves out, you’ll be happy as long as you kick your fear in the ass and go for it. And please don’t be the type of person that goes for the guy or girl that just likes you. That goes for a person who is enough, who is okay and in your league. I hate seeing my friends settle for anything less than someone who makes your stomach flutter and treats you the way you should be treated. That loves you more than life and most of all someone that you would choose over everyone else in the world, over any artist or movie star, even if you were to be given a chance to get one of those. I want you to have a love story worthy of a nobelprize-winning novel. And I want you to stop doing things that do not bring you forward. I’m not gonna tell you to turn of your computer, but while you’re here, do something that’s worth your while. (so, lol, I’m pretty much telling you to get off this blog)

Happy by night

Posted on by under notes

I don’t even like the things that I like. By night I live, by night I grow and create and awaken, yet at night I fall. Deeper and deeper into myself since there’s no one else around to catch me. I love the freedom but hate that I’m not strong enough to handle it. Thank God I don’t have to do it on my own anyway. Because I want to stand up against thoughts that crowd my brain when the lights go out after having waited hours for me to let my guard down. I do not want to be afraid of the dark but I do not want to be in love with it either. Please, let me be happy by night.

I envy people who do not obsess about stuff

Posted on by under poetry

I love so that it hurts, stings in the depths of my heart and sends shivers through my body until it makes me all jittery and I can’t sleep, can’t breath, just repeat things in my head over and over again while dreaming and planning and longing for things that won’t happen. I don’t despise it like pain, but it doesn’t taste like happiness. And i wish that I could forget it, never have seen that read that or have those people in my life. Not because that’s what I actually want, but because then maybe I would have a bit more time to do things that make me happy in a way that doesn’t hurt, things that make me lightweight and helps me fly, while the love I feel now drags me to the bottom of needing and the darkest pits of I can’t focus on anything else. Passion is a mixture of just as much pain as there is happiness, just as much darkness as there is light, because it’s needed to create the contrasts that is that word and the world.