- A good pair of high waisted jeans.
- The ability to naturally express in dance whatever my soul is.
Category Archives: notes
Externally Internally Processing
I mostly fight with ideas, wrestle with concepts. And when I do, they drip out through everything I say. It will be the perspective with which I listen to you, what I comment on during bible studies. So I walk around mentioning things for weeks, walking in circles around them, until I finally get them and actually can explain how it all goes together in a way that make sense.
Power
My empty cup smells like salt water, and I leave Florida soon but I haven’t written about the ocean yet. My thoughts drown before I even manage to get my feet wet. So I remind myself of the tides that have been promised me, I don’t chase the waves but are lifted by the power of the moon.
X
Put away all of the church. All of the regret. Put away all your ideas, your climbing imagination. Throw out misconceptions, the clothes you’re supposed to wear. Put away what’s around you and the sound of wanting for yourself. And focus on the love without veils between you and your friend who is the highest of highest on high.
Thanks Dude
It’s funny that people compliment you when you wear things that are closer to their style. Obviously it makes sense, since they wear it because they have a preference for it. But it’s also a bit funny how people in general are like ‘Hey. That’s so nice. You almost look like me.’
In Frustration
Bad days build better days
Bad days build better days Bad Days Build Better Days BAD DAYS BUILD BETTER DAYS
I did ask you to break my heart.
2016.02.28
If you wonder why I stand like this, it’s because I have fear dripping from my fingertips. I am scared of the future but I’m not ready to fall back just yet. In some moments I just am.
I started this DTS with fighting through some things, realising and getting closer. And now I feel sort of fine. But also stirring. Something is moving, God is stirring something in my soul, I think he might soon set fire to my bones.
(I fight through I fight through I fight through)
Mood
It’s a lie that to create something beautiful, some part in you has to be broken. But I don’t know that. Because I have a twisted perception of what beauty is.
That’s easier, that’s smaller, and sadness fits. It fills my heart up from the inside instead of existing around it the way my happiness does. It’s small enough for me to hold its definition in my hands even though I don’t know what it is.
(I just finished reading Love Letters to the Dead by Ava Dellaira and it was small but quite deep and I fell down)
Remembrance
Don’t write for people to remember you or it. Write to remind.
Tell what we’ve always known and will always forget. Tell me about the stars and the moon and the story about love sinking into oceans beneath everything.
Writing is sharing and giving what you’ve received, so pour it over me til I’m drunk and stumbling or bright and clear and make sure that I know what should be known.
Don’t live in the illusion of remembrance.
Every moment is a new eternity.
2016.01.01 Message to Myself
Stop being scared. Stop that subconscious second guessing when you freeze and walk around and just let your thoughts crawl around like ants but never becoming something. Stop being indecisive because you’re not at a creative peak. You don’t feel it. Sit down. Do it anyway. Remember this, remember this, even though I know you won’t, even though I know I’ll have to write it again, a hundred times a hundred ways, all through life reminding you of what you know, repeating what’s been said, don’t you know it’s all we are? Don’t you know it’s all we do? So if you choose, and get to do so, so if you create and corrupt and empty your veins and pour
then you’re one of those repeaters. Say it until you listen. Say it until the world listens. And then say it again.
eirians 