I’ve always liked the idea of being a person who runs, but I don’t like the idea of being the kind of person who just likes the idea of being a person who runs.
So I run.
Category Archives: notes
In the Seconds of Bravery
I don’t want a happy life. I want the darkest, lowest valleys and the highest of heights, I want the truth of the universe and the pain of hell if that’s what it takes for me to learn something. Eyes wide open and mind spinning, I want to close my eyes, crazy.
Sun-day
Hello heart, sun in my chest. Today is a bright day.
Make sure that you don’t look away.
Keep your gaze on the inside of this moment, keep your focus on not tomorrow.
(no)tes.
I was going to write something on this blog today.
But then I thought (no).
But then I thought yes. Because I don’t really have anything I feel like saying right now, but I have tons of notes on my phone and on various pieces of paper. So here are some of the things I’ve thought and written down lately:
- Growing up is a bit like biting into a cloud and expecting the chewiness of marshmallows, or the taste of childhood dreams, but just finding your own teeth.
- Fiction is a wonderful way of describing things that are real, through things that are not.
- It’s a big thing, to deal with your feelings and know who you are.
- Oh to not collapse under the weight of your own breathing.
- Maybe we’re all just scared that our demons are the only ones who actually know who we are.
- (There’s nothing under your skin. There’s no one beneath your bones.)
- When you don’t want to have the made up responsibilities associated with being human, remember that you don’t.
Good night, sleep well, sweet dreams.
Self image
We have an image in our mind of our physical appearance. I tried on the idea of pink hair. And I think I do have pink hair. So I coloured my hair pink. But don’t put into your mind that you’re supposed to look like someone else, because that will mess you up when you meet a mirror.
I know who I am, so you don’t have to
Some do
And that’s nice
But you don’t have to
.
I used to write about it.
Now I have the words for it.
Now I don’t need to find them.
(Okay, I know you’re not supposed to explain things like that, that was just a short little text you guys should have your own interpretation of, but actually I wrote that down because I looked through this blog and I used to write these really pretentious texts (and I still do), but they were sort of poetic, my thoughts about life and whatever I was fighting myself about at the moment. I still do that. Write things in my journal, about whatever mess I’ve got going on in my head this time. The thing is, it’s always the same mess. How do I write that a million ways. No, why?)
I fall asleep at the bottom of the ocean.
Deep and inspirational
Today is another monday. Go kick its ass. (…)
Midnight Thoughts
How do I accept this? How do I find so much faith in forgiveness that I’m not even scared of sinning, making mistakes anymore. Not that I should, but maybe winning is when I’ll stop being scared that I’ll fall. Come to the psyche-challenging, all conquering notion that there’s no such thing as falling, only grace, and when will I stop worshipping what I think I deserve.
These are the midnight thoughts that creep through my brain. Either in this form, but usually behind something else.
What’s the Appropriate Truth?
I feel like I can solve situations if I just manage to figure out what to tell myself. Or what I’m already saying. Maybe that first. What subconscious thought patterns must I yell something at to make them change?
eirians 