Stop looking for the perfect story and choose a real one. (Your heroine doesn’t need freckles or a specific hair colour and your love interest doesn’t need his eyes described in detail. It would be more interesting hearing your story from the point of a view of a baby. It would be more interesting if everyone wasn’t so morally good. It would be more interesting if you didn’t care so much that you ruined it.)
To go from listening to To build a home on spotify, to listening to That home.
The difference between feeling like
there’s no way out and talking about
that there’s no way out
is the way out.
somewhere in the dark corners of my phone:
Everything you make me throw up I swallow right back down again, the wisps of sweet poison to the bitter taste of my fingernails, I swallow it down again. Grasping hands clinging to asphalt and tissue and all the atoms they cannot see, second hand looking and eyes eyes eyes on me. I swallow it right back down again (please) I swallow it right back down again.
I walked through the forest today, just after the sun had set, but while the sky was still clear enough that it could have been a cloudy midday. The birds were singing like crazy, as if trying to call the day back. The forest floor was covered in green leaves and white buds that made my heart hurt. Soon those flowers will bloom and it will look like it has been snowing again, until they die and leave space for summer. I looked and walked and thought that this was the saddest sadness I’d ever seen. The birds see death and think of birth, and I see birth and think of death.
And so I walk the road towards my death. Towards the end of me and the start of you.
For those of us who know who Jesus is, it might be difficult to understand why he had to do what he did.
But for those of us who know who we are, it’s easy to understand.
I’ve always liked the idea of being a person who runs, but I don’t like the idea of being the kind of person who just likes the idea of being a person who runs.
So I run.
I don’t want a happy life. I want the darkest, lowest valleys and the highest of heights, I want the truth of the universe and the pain of hell if that’s what it takes for me to learn something. Eyes wide open and mind spinning, I want to close my eyes, crazy.
Hello heart, sun in my chest. Today is a bright day.
Make sure that you don’t look away.
Keep your gaze on the inside of this moment, keep your focus on not tomorrow.
I was going to write something on this blog today.
But then I thought (no).
But then I thought yes. Because I don’t really have anything I feel like saying right now, but I have tons of notes on my phone and on various pieces of paper. So here are some of the things I’ve thought and written down lately:
Good night, sleep well, sweet dreams.
eirians 