More Nairobi landscapes and me being emotional.

More Nairobi landscapes and me being emotional.

‘Things in my bag’ or as I like to call it now; ‘(some of the) things that fell in the ocean.’ Also a picture of planet Earth.

About flowers and painting portraits of street kids.

Portrait of a girl called Lucy, and fingerprints from kids at the orphanage.

This notebook has a surprisingly long story. I wanted one for years, and you can’t get them in Sweden, but I saw that they had them in a physical shop in Sarasota. And I remember thinking ‘hey, that’s where that school thing is, what if I actually go there one day and can buy one.’ And I did. I forgot about the notebook though. Until I needed a new one after a couple of months and actually found the link to the store in the old bookmarks on my computer (ah, that time before Pinterest). And I discovered that it was a 20 minute bike ride away. So I went there, it’s a GORGEOUS shop, and found a little stand with all of the notebooks from this brand. It’s weird how life works out.
And I got one. One that I brought with me to Kenya, to have as my fancy travel journal (I had a moleskine as well, for all my messy thoughts), and so I thought I’d share some pages from it over the following days.
Also, this is not a review, but let’s appreciate that this notebook literally fell into the ocean. For some unknown reason I had it, together with my bible and other notebook, in a plastic bag inside my normal bag. I really don’t know why (one of those things you can call luck or God). But when it fell in the ocean, my other notebook and bible were just a little bit damaged and this one was completely fine. Which testifies to how good it is with watercolours, you can apply as much water as you want, and the page will still lay flat.
I’m (not) sorry, but I’m just really passionate about this notebook.

(Btw, it’s this one: http://www.stillmanandbirn.com/beta.html !)
In Kenya.
One of the last days I was there.
Now the thing is, having lived without real bathrooms and beds for two months, I felt like it was okay to look forward to just relaxing in front of the computer when I got back.
But it fell into the ocean. With all my pictures from the journey, all old documents of things I’d written. And my phone fell as well. My camera, my lens, passport, notebooks, money, e-reader.. I fell into the ocean and I took my bag with me.
I felt empty. And sad, I don’t know why I’m always sad. But also changed, even now when I feel a lot better about it, I still feel different.Which is weird and pretentious, like something that would happen in a book. But I really do feel as if something inevitably changed in me.
And I like it, I feel free, but it also means blog posts will be more rare, and it annoys me to death that I can’t take photos. (So I guess I’ll have to write it).
My empty cup smells like salt water, and I leave Florida soon but I haven’t written about the ocean yet. My thoughts drown before I even manage to get my feet wet. So I remind myself of the tides that have been promised me, I don’t chase the waves but are lifted by the power of the moon.
I stayed behind yesterday. We went downtown to have a photoshoot and I stayed when my friends went back. I walked around in that detached-from-reality kind of way and looked at how the city I stay in looks like a postcard. Clear skies and shiny metal buildings and palms and palms and palms, sun that makes your face melt off.


Then I sat down on the rocks and was happy.
And this might sound sad, but I loved going to a sea that wasn’t full of memories. In Sweden it’s tiny towns and cozy houses and driftwood, people with wrinkles too deep, an ocean that slowly breaks everything. Here everything just is. No childhood memories. Just sturdy rocks and people dancing.

The bridge before I ran over it.

The bridge after I ran over it, resting on a bench in the shade. My face was so red people gave me worried glances when they saw me.

My postcard wish is that you don’t send me home.
(Also, backstage from the photoshoot..:

wow)
My pocket moleskine, and what I’ve filled it with so far:





