The Surprise of Creativity

(Excerpt from a notebook) On the topic of writing, Bukowski says: If it doesn’t come bursting out of you in spite of everything, don’t do itThere’s no other way, and there never was. I think what he means is that your writing has to be a surprise, even to yourself. Too many people see writing as a form of thinking, when in reality it’s the complete opposite, a mirrored version or maybe a distant relative to it. When you write, when you really write, you do not need to fear the blank page, because it’s not you who are going to fill it, but your words. Sometimes I’m all up in my head, and I only write such things I’ve already thought about. But what then is the point of writing at all? Is it only documentation? I believe, and believe strongly, that the power lies in not knowing how your sentence will end. I believe, and believe strongly, that we have labyrinths in us just waiting to be discovered, but if you always know and see everything, you just walk along a winding path. You miss all the ways you could have gone. True writing is about something like that.

21st Birthday

When I turned 21 a few days ago I escaped to the north of Sweden to go skiing with my family, because birthday parties give me anxiety.

It’s not parties in general, just that if I host one myself I feel like EVERYONE HAS TO HAVE THE BEST NIGHT THEY’VE EVER HAD and that’s a lot of pressure. So I haven’t really had a birthday party since I was a small kid. It’s good then that I have friends who throw me surprise parties (even if I’m sweaty and disgusting from skiing when I arrive.) (And to be fair my mum organised a lot of it, which is extremely sweet and a little bit sad at the same time, considering I’m supposedly a “grown up”. But hey, next birthday I’ll probably be on another continent (I pray))

Anyway, birthday=great, and here you have a pre-party sisters picture.

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Love.