I am so young and I’m so tired. Give me light and now. I can’t bear with future anymore.
(Not as happy as I should be, but life keeps being beautiful anyways so I’m trying to wake up and appreciate it)
Tag Archives: summer
Trying to fall in love with photography
And every now and then I get in a mood where I do
Vacation-ish
I’m happy now, which is nice. I’m at my grandmas summerhouse next to a lake and I got to sleep in the big glass room with all the plants. They only have candles out here. Candles and the strong scent of flowers I didn’t quite notice during the day. My body is itching with this, the need to get away, get out of places, maybe that’s why I’m happy to just fall asleep under a different roof, regardless of where I am. My wanderlust is so unpredictable, sometimes barely there and sometimes so strong that I get happy-sad just from talking about islands far away. Anyway, I’ve also been so fascinated with conversations lately. I’ve always been allergic to small talk, meaningless conversation, but I’ve realised I’ve got no clue what constitutes meaningless. A few days ago I went to pick up a friend at the airport, and on the way there I spoke for ages with another friend, conversations that might not always have been about the deepest stuff, but still were exactly the social interaction I needed. Today I spoke to someone else and I suppose the topics were sort of serious but I was just very bored. And this is no expected ’teenager bored of her family’ stuff, I just didn’t get anything out of it. Maybe it’s because the conversation was just different people speaking. It didn’t have any life in itself. Sometimes conversations soar and fly and run away to places you could never expect, and you get excited, because you want to catch up. And sometimes it’s just one person talking about something, and then someone else talking about something different. Don’t you want to spin on, dig deeper into the subject, speak fast or slow but have the sort of conversation that’s a journey instead of a silent destination? I love the run.
Sweet dreams (or happy mornings)
DIY Birthday present
For my friend who didn’t want anyone to buy anything, so I just painted something small. Also, it says “For Julia, who always is so much laughter and summer and sunshine” She always has the cosiest late summer night birthday parties, it feels like stepping into a real life inspirational pinterest board.
Hugs to everyone!
02.35
Look at these pictures and guess what time it is. 
Or well, I suppose the title kinda gives it away. But yeah, Swedish summer for you. Bright as day at 02.35 in the night. And it’s hard to go to bed when you’re in love with the night and can have it without darkness. Also, I love painting when the world is asleep.
Good night wishes to all of you. (And even those of you who dream best when you’re awake, don’t be like me and forget to sleep.)
Prom and Graduation Photobooomb
Because I realised I’ve forgotten to upload any of this.. Prom was great, but mostly due to the whole dressing up part, apart from that it was mostly a dinner and then going to the club. Graduation – I don’t even know – it was probably the most intense day of my life and now it feels like a dream, but in a good way haha. Anyway, let the photobombing start.
Aaaand the day of my graduation. I realised these pictures might seem a bit strange if you’re not familiar with the classic Swedish graduation traditions, but well just.. don’t.. question it.
If you’re in school, believe me when I say it will be over in the blink of an eye. Enjoy it. (But also remember that then the rest of your life starts, and that.. is gonna be good)
Happy endings
I just handed in my last essay. 2 days to prom, 11 days til I graduate, and I have no more tests. No more essays. Quizzes, presentations.. it’s over. And what if I never study again? I don’t know where life’s gonna take me, but what if I don’t? Then I’m done. I can focus the rest of my life on doing what I want. I can learn because I want to and not because there’s a deadline tomorrow. So I’m just very excited and wanted to share it with you.
And my last blog post started off with me saying I don’t like endings. You know what? Sometimes I kinda do.
Completely irrelevant photo I took a while ago, because pictures just make every blog post nicer, even random rambling.
To the future and beyond (look forward to prom pictures!!).
Summer evenings and writing
I should just write. Maybe the inspiration will flow from my brain like the ink from my pen and maybe the sound of violently pressing the keyboard will bring my heart to a path and back from the distracted zone of nowhere and everywhere. Maybe I should write because I actually do have things to write about, friends and laughter that have passed by, and imaginary people in faraway cultures whose adventures lies at my feet, waiting for my hands and letters. And maybe I should not write. Maybe I should never write again because I never write when I’m happy. Or maybe I should just learn to find another source to creativity, bright days and sunshine instead of bittersweetness and hearts teared apart. And maybe I should write because whatever the answer is, I know that the only way to find it is searching through my thoughts, and the only way to search through my thoughts is falling through them line for line, a never-ending flood of commas and vowels and me.
Hail
The weather is getting colder and the sun rises bright every morning but the sky opens up for rain every dark afternoon. Autumn is closing in but I don’t want to think about hot chocolate and oversized sweaters, not yet. Not now when school hasn’t even started and I can still lock myself inside my room and ignore that time passes by so quickly.
The clay under the sand
On the beach next to my grandma’s summer house we found a pier where I asked my mother to put her hand in the water for it to look like she’s magic. I don’t know, she might be. And underneath the sand you can find clay that you can shape and let dry, or just apply all over your body for a homemade clay mask thingy. We looked very strange. It was a good day. 
eirians 