And the people were fighting so much for peace that they didn’t realise they were the war.
Sit and deal with it.
Think about and handle the situation you’re in.
What are you feeling?
You have to tell me
the name of this
(And evening notes, from my notebook:
One thing I know: this always helps, even if I forget about it when I stand alone above the clouds, millions of miles from the closest star. Eons between me and the closest physical object. A chair, a window. Writing like this always helps. Now I sit for real in this couch, big notebook leaned against my knees and teacup against my stomach. It doesn’t necessarily make me understand, but one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,)
- “Every time you wrestle with your doubts, every time you dismantle your intellect to use a tool instead of analysing it, every time you choose to practice instead of theorize your creativity, you will move forward.”
- “Art is a field that’s defined by your actions, not by your qualifications.”
- “The 21st century is an aesthetic century. In history there are ages of reason and there are ages of spectacle, and it’s important to know which you’re in. Our America, our internet, is not ancient Athens. it’s Rome. And your problem is you think you’re in the forum when you’re really in the circus.”
- “Trust yourself. Trusting yourself means living out what you already know to be true.”)
I switched notebooks today. My parents bought me my previous one when they were visiting me in Florida. It had wooden covers and lined pages, which meant it couldn’t be drawn in and it never looked that good gluing cute notes and memories onto the pages. It was just writing, handwriting that started of nice but then lost it somewhere halfway through. The last page is always an important one, and I wrote on it: this was not pretty, just used. It’s sad, but also not sad, with times like that. Not pretty, just used.
(Photos of random doodle papers:)
I was going to write something on this blog today.
But then I thought (no).
But then I thought yes. Because I don’t really have anything I feel like saying right now, but I have tons of notes on my phone and on various pieces of paper. So here are some of the things I’ve thought and written down lately:
- Growing up is a bit like biting into a cloud and expecting the chewiness of marshmallows, or the taste of childhood dreams, but just finding your own teeth.
- Fiction is a wonderful way of describing things that are real, through things that are not.
- It’s a big thing, to deal with your feelings and know who you are.
- Oh to not collapse under the weight of your own breathing.
- Maybe we’re all just scared that our demons are the only ones who actually know who we are.
- (There’s nothing under your skin. There’s no one beneath your bones.)
- When you don’t want to have the made up responsibilities associated with being human, remember that you don’t.
Good night, sleep well, sweet dreams.
For our art assignment we’re supposed to make someone into a superhero, I thought I’d do a couple pages of a comic book for my person AND I HAVE A NEWFOUND RESPECT FOR COMIC BOOK ARTISTS. Dang. I’m sketching up ideas and just starting to realise how much time this is actually going to take.
I have this thing, especially in maths, where I write my notes really really small. Because, well, I think it looks pretty. And making something beautiful kind of distracts me from how boring it is. Or not that boring, I kinda like maths, it’s just… ugh, not my favourite activity first thing in the morning. So anyway, I present to you, the most environmentally friendly way to go through school, I think this book is gonna last me until I graduate.
Well, at least it’s good to know I’ve done something with my life.