Last dance

I don’t like endings.

There something special about being backstage. Too many lights and wires you’re not allowed to touch, your own little corner where you put your things, and the way you see the entire show being built up and practiced. And then the doors open, and for a few hours people get to see what you have been working on for weeks, months. And then the doors close and everything gets shut down and is no more. It’s not a painting or poem to keep. The performance only exists when you perform it, and then it’s forever gone.

I can usually look forward to do it all over again the next year, but now I graduate and have to quit just when I feel like I actually know everyone.

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So yeah, and I cried. Which was awkward, because my face gets completely red and I can’t hide it at all, and everyone get really surprised and slightly scared because I don’t usually cry and no one expects it from me. I wasn’t really that sad though. It’s just way too good, so when the curtains fall for the last time, I panic because it’s over it’s over it’s over.

Love

 

Final dance

So now this year’s dance shows are over, they turned out to be unexpectedly many. This theater teacher saw us dance to a song they were gonna have in their production, so she invited us to dance there to, and in addition they needed more pirates in the play so we got to dress up and act a tiny bit! I think acting might be one of the most difficult creative things to do. I realize the few times that I try that I don’t know what a human really does or act or look like in different situations. Acting is about observing people, just like drawing or writing, but then to show the truth about the people you observe using your own body is impressing. But fun. And in the end we even got roses for our trouble!

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Dance shows

My dance school always has this big dance show in the spring time, and I love it. I love the time spent on stage and I dread the moment I have to leave it, but I almost love the waiting time more. The minutes before going on stage and the time between the shows that you spend backstage. Somehow I have this dream in my head of myself then, imagining I’m a dancer in New York who got accepted to an exclusive school of ballet, and that I spend the dark evenings carrying my dance bag on the buses between my auditions.

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