Wisdom

I wanted to make a ‘thank you’ painting for the school where I worked. I thought flowers, because what you do in a school is basically planting seeds in people and hoping it grows/helping it grow to something good.

Also, let us appreciate technology, where you can edit photos of your paintings and then change your mind before you destroy them in real life (I went with the first background).

And here is the first painting on the theme, that I deemed too weird and stare-y, so I kept it for myself and now brought it to Florida to make people think I’m very fancy and artistic.

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Night loves.

From the mountains (unedited)

(A song I sang on a mountain once) I wrote this while hiking and it’s a river of thoughts. I have some idea how to fix it; there are too many concepts, I need to focus it and edit it and maybe I can make it into something actually good. But for now, here’s the river:

But the mountains did not make me quiet.
We are not     Steadfast     Silent
Do not     Remain
(I was     more     Alive)

We are not mountains
But are we the eruption of a volcanoe?
fire burning, throwing stones, lava sizzling
But no, we as well need to charge
We are not oceans (because we like to go places)
But are we waves?
Crashing and pulsing and beating
No, hearts see hearts and lose rythm
Are we forests
(a million pieces growing and dying)
to get lost in?
But no.
I am not inhabited.
There are no animals here.
No spirits but us.
Everything that I have done has been done by me.

Then
As I stepped on stone
My mind spoke;
Human     –     Nature
We flow differently through the rivers of time.

We are
Like the flowers
– they gave to me every sunday in a church in Florida –
cut at the base, dying                    Slower
Our tears (and laughter) are the rivers
making patterns in the landscape                     Faster

And we are     always     the ocean
Breathe
Waves rolling in     Crashing over our lungs
The air reclaiming it – ocean – as his                                faster slower faster slower slower

As I walk and as I talk and as I run through the crevices of your soul
There are rivers     in me
And fire       in me
And mountains     in me

Painting in the forest

So cozy. Very zen. But honestly also a bit boring, I don’t know why I feel that way about painting flowers.

(I just have to add, because I was gonna post this but then I looked out the window this morning, and saw:

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I hope the flowers are okay.)

Bus thoughts (on Art)

What’s the point of anything? I don’t know. But it exists. And we exist. The things around us are what we know,  the sound of the bus, the trees outside the window, that’s reality right now. And I can change that. I sing a song under my breath, and suddenly that’s the sound of the world right now. I can make a sculpture, so that’s what people see. We can change what’s around us, change what this is, and so change who we are. There’s so much space, and art is being intentional when filling it up.

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That’s the only meaning we know.

Necessary procrastination

The word procrastination does not exist in the swedish language. We have a word that means to push something to the future, but procrastinating is not just postponing something, it’s the verb for what you’re actually doing while pushing something to the future. So it describes doing something, but it describes it not by saying what you’re doing, but by saying what you are NOT. (weird word, I like it)

Sometimes though, I think the subconscious processing of thoughts is undervalued. 

It always makes me think about a story I heard once. It’s about the emperor of China or something, and how he told an artist to paint the most beautiful painting ever (of some motif, I don’t remember). The artist spent years working on his painting, but when he was supposed to be done, he asked for another year, and another, saying he was not quite finished. When he finally appeared before the emperor and uncovered the canvas, it was empty. He then took his paints out, and painted the most beautiful painting in 15 minutes. 

How long did it take for the artist to paint the picture? 15 minutes? Or all those years?

I can usually write a school essay because I’ve been writing it for a long time. Even if I write it the night before it’s due, it’s been in the back of my mind for a long time.

The question is, is it better to consciously decide to do something later, instead of constantly pushing it to the next minute? Do some intentional procrastinating? (I suppose that’s called planning) Or is the stress necessary to constantly have it there in the back of your mind?

I don’t know. I don’t have enough patience to finish writing about this.