The power is out in my whole village. Even the streetlights, I could barely find my way home from the bus. It made me feel really good though, the stars and now the candles at home, maybe I’ll even manage to go to bed early.
Also, here is a photo of a recent painting, so that this post becomes less boring:
bye!
Went cross country skiing today. Then I drank hot chocolate and ate waffles and got really emotional about this place I’ve been visiting for as long as I can remember.
(The thing about skiing is that it’s in my blood and bones, it’s what my dad and grandpa and great grandma did, it’s old and Swedish and the forests are dark and the views beautiful. It’s freedom and being out of breath and so much pressure. It’s me as a little girl. And it’s weird to think about the people working here, the guy preparing the tracks outside the window right now, or anyone else who’s been here. Weird that this place could mean even more to any of them.)
I was going to write something on this blog today.
But then I thought (no).
But then I thought yes. Because I don’t really have anything I feel like saying right now, but I have tons of notes on my phone and on various pieces of paper. So here are some of the things I’ve thought and written down lately:
Good night, sleep well, sweet dreams.
The 2nd of January:
The 3rd of January:
Honestly, what’s going on? This horrible winter weather is good though, what January is supposed to be like. It makes me want to stay inside and listen to good music. (Like this amazing live Bon Iver concert: https://youtu.be/YJNi7aRwUzU )
The thing is, 2016 was a good year. Great year, 9/10 (always leave space for things to get better).
Because one of my biggest fears is that – because of fear – I’ll never get to do any of the things I want to do. But this year I moved away from home for the first time, lived abroad. Had several different lifestyles and different jobs. I was challenged and matured and met a whole new family of friends. Got to go to the US, Kenya, Denmark, Germany, Hungary, Austria, and then Germany again. That’s actually crazy?? I’ve lived in 2016 for a lifetime. And those are the kind of years I want. Let’s dare to believe that things get even better.
Golden paper on the table so that we could make party hats. We look fabulous.
We have an image in our mind of our physical appearance. I tried on the idea of pink hair. And I think I do have pink hair. So I coloured my hair pink. But don’t put into your mind that you’re supposed to look like someone else, because that will mess you up when you meet a mirror.
Literally. I came home from work and threw up. That was the 23rd. The following days are a bit hazy in my mind. I’ve been on a mattress in the living room, and today is the first day I’ve been able to walk without my legs shaking.
Hope your Christmas has been better and I keep my hopes up for the New Years.
It’s the night of the darkest day of the year. 21st of December, the winter solstice. In the very north of Sweden the sun didn’t even rise above the horizon, which I guess it did here even though I haven’t really seen it in a while.
On a lighter note I highlighted my hair today. I bet you could make something poetic out of that, but I’m not really going to. Looks great though. Even better without the tin foil, I promise.
Good niight.
The end! Summary of what books I read during the trip, and about that time I fell into the ocean with my bag.
It’s easier to not finish things on the computer, because there’s no physical reminder. Just unfinished files hidden away somewhere on a harddrive. And that’s where all my attempts at digital art end up. But today I actually finished something (!!) so here you go. very simple, but still. (Though I need to figure out how to make everything look less pixelated!!)
eirians 